Randy and the Giant Pink Possum
By Scott Wilson
Word Count: 681

Once upon a time, there was a young boy named Randy. Randy was seventy-three years old and lived in Hemmant, Queensland. While walking home from school one day, a giant, rabid pink possum jumped out from behind a wheelie bin and tackled Randy to the ground. Just when he was about to let out a scream for help, Randy realized that the giant, rabid pink possum was only licking his face, not trying to bite it off. At that moment, Randy decided to keep the giant, rabid pink possum as a pet. On the way home, he decided to name his pet giant, rabid pink possum “Trish.” When Randy and his new pet finally got home, guess who was standing on the front porch? That's right; it was Randy's mother, Ruth. Boy was she surprised to see a giant, rabid pink possum following Randy into the yard!

“What in world is that?” shouted Ruth.

“It's a giant, rabid pink possum,” answered Randy.

“Dah, I can see that, Randy, but what on earth is it doing here?” said Ruth.

“It's my new pet!” answered Randy.

“Oh you think so do you?” remarked Ruth. “I wouldn't get your hopes up. You know how your father hates giant, rabid pink possums. But, well, I suppose you can keep him until your father comes home.”

With that, Randy grabbed Trish by the scruff of the neck and led his new pet into the house--even though he knew his father was probably going to disapprove. Once in the house, Randy and Trish played and played, that is until Randy's favorite television show, “Lost,” started. At that point, Randy forgot all about Trish having an unsupervised run of the house. That is until half way through “Lost,” when Randy was brought back to reality when he heard his father shout.

“Holy Cow! Randy! Get your caboose in the dungeon...NOW!”

With that, Randy rushed into the dungeon to see what all the fuss was about. When he entered the dungeon, there stood his father, Brenton, pointing toward the Queen Sized Bed.

“Will someone please explain that?” asked his father.

Then, as Randy followed his father's finger to where it was pointing, he instantly knew what his father was so upset about. There, smack dab in the middle of the Queen Sized Bed, was the biggest pile of possum doo-doo he had ever seen!

“I don't EVEN want to know how that got there,” said Brenton. “But you had better get it cleaned up now! And you had better get rid of whatever it is that could have done such a thing!”

Well, knowing his father as well as he did, Randy knew there was no sense even asking his father if he could keep Trish for a pet. So without hesitation, Randy set out to find where Trish was hiding. After a few minutes of looking, Randy discovered Trish crouched beneath the table that Randy did his Kiwi Bashing on.

“Come on, Trish, it's time to find you a new home. And hey, don't look at me that way, I'm not the one who did the dirty deed on the Queen Sized Bed!” scolded Randy.

“Thanks to you I'll never get to have my own pet possum!”

With that, Randy led Trish out of the house and down to the local Daily Planet Comics Store. They had a pet section and Randy knew the owner would find Trish a good home. So after saying good-bye to Trish, and thanking the owner of Daily Planet, Randy walked backed home and attempted to drown his sorrows by slamming down a half dozen Kirks Creaming Sodas. However, Randy's pity party came to an abrupt end when his father reminded him about the mess he had neglected to clean up. Low and behold, midway through the clean up, Randy suddenly became thankful that someone else was going to have to do it from now on.

The End.